First blog post: This is My life

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….For me writing a blog has a synergy with my life. The thirteenth of March will forever remain encrypted in our souls. The eventful day of two souls bound by the sanctity of marriage. Well, it reflects the Two States of Chetan Bhagat’s novel…the marriage of two families. Not necessarily my sacrifices, but also the little dollops of joys that showered on us at the expense of bigger sacrifices to balance the family satiety. A marriage of true minds could only be carved out of the rough terrains and quotidian actualities of domestic life. I would say, the sophomoric years were suffused with ornate insights and reliving the past is both a pleasure as well as pain.

Our first slice of conjugal bliss, familial relationships, adjustments, getting attuned to each other, recognizing the journey from innocence to experience, the synchronization of professional and personal lives, parenthood etc. was not going to be an easy task. I had to remind myself several times, “Buck up, not buckle under pressure”. I remembered Blake’s poems of Innocence and Experience, and I tried to adopt a stoic poise like the Hemingway code, “Grace under pressure”. Alas! Life isn’t like that. It’s tough! One cannot maintain a graceful stance under extreme cases of marital and family discord/disputes. Haha! I can laugh about all of it, but at one point those were the major crises of our lives…sometimes individual strides too created a lot of chaos and turbulence. Sometimes, a family member or members can spark off negative situations. Sometimes, a simple comment may be convoluted and give rise to controversial issues. It takes eons of patience to withstand the pressures. In fact, it took great endurance to face suchlike situations…patience is the buzzword to combat struggle, heartaches, squabbles, disorders and rage. The exquisite image in Shakespearean sonnet, “Love is not love/ Which alters when it alteration finds…” refers to the marriage of like-minded souls…Marriage of True Minds. An avid reader of the greatest bard, these evocative lines are ingrained in me. Hence, I was not deterred by the realities and like the fragile rose that I is untimely ripped out, I too felt at times that my fragility and naivete was cut off by the mowers, precisely my offenders. Such were the dark undertones of my marriage. But honestly, I always bounced back to normal by the strong and loving proclamation and steadfastness of love by my beloved. clichés, I know, but our abiding expressions of affection have helped us in accomplishing poise, patience and endurance throughout our whirlwind sojourn of hate, care, orientation, disorientation, bickering, fondness, laughter, tears (from me )…I can almost tangibly feel the stormy pace at which time has elapsed. Time had never stopped still with us. Not love at first sight where the lovers gaze endlessly at each other, neither the romantic honeymoon, walks, long drives, candlelight dinners etc. where lovers have ample time to know each other and navigate slowly and gradually. Ours was a complex phenomenon what with my masters preparations, my hubby’s hectic tours, my in-laws’ endless crises, my parents’ innumerable woes and worries, our own sorrows, illnesses, childbirth, perennial disasters with the helping hands and job stress. The highlights however, more than made up for the anxieties and gave us respite from the mundane. The culinary delights concocted by us, the duo, participating in extracurricular activities, sports, occasional outings, holidays motivated us to cruise along. Our professional front, though tiring and stressful, as it is with most people, was satisfying as long as the money flowed in…it provided us with a comfortable life, beautiful home and a loving family albeit the difficulties…the slings and arrows of fate.  We did and still do have our differences, quarrels, screams and complaints: but we can’t imagine a life without each other…the joking, the wrestling, the affection, the vibes…haha, and unknowingly the bond grows stronger. We have become infinitely more grateful to God for bringing us closer than before. Gratitude is the pre-requisite  for a happy life; it has the potential to make the familial bond firm. The fatigue, depression,gruelling hours of toil, dissatisfaction are inherent in all families but developing a sense of optimism enriches our life. I’ve watched my better half minutely and learnt the art of extreme endurance from him. His positive feedback helped me to realign my path. I too tried to help him in his times of need and have a caring attitude towards his well-being. That’s the trickle down effect.

Unbreakable…inseparable…besties couple….that’s what we are now…gradual metamorphosis over the years with the doses of intoxicating ecstasy and excruciating pain. I’m being candid…Our life is not riddled with negatives. We’ve overridden the nettled hedge rows of life together despite our differences. So the toxic tantrums, whines and wails, the magical caresses, the bitter truths that inevitably rips the heart, the chasms, the pretty tales of romance, true declarations of love, the soul hugging moments…all these nuances have woven the fabric of twenty-five years. The heady intoxication of the first few years and the crises of mid-life have become a book of nice memories for us and we intend to stride along unprecedented towards another twenty -five or more years in life.

I closed my eyes and spoke to you in a thousand silent ways and I know you understand me perfectly…and we will love with a love that is more than love. “Let me not to the marriage of true minds/Admit impediments…” Our love for each other may transcend the barriers of all obstacles. After all, every experience counts and has made our life worthwhile, as the saying goes by Blake, “Without Contraries there cannot be Progress”.

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Magical Moments

Nestled in the huddle of whitewashed cottages, in a remote village of Scotland lived the Smiths. The eldest daughter of the Smiths, Emily, was a young woman with a vibrant persona. Her mellifluous voice has won the hearts of many. Coming from a humble background, her parents could not harness or recognise her latent talent. The voice reverberating through the glens had such innate depths that it would stir the soul of any passerby.

Emily sat across on the floor with a piece of grey fabric spread over her lap. As the needle flipped in and out of the cloth, she was humming a Scottish lilt. The humble villagers knew not the uniqueness of such a melody. Neither did Emily herself. The illusive and alluring notes was like a symphony to hum forever. Dainty patterns of flowers were intricately sewn on the fabric which revealed her love for art and craft. “Emily! Go and collect the twigs for the fire.,, no need to waste your time singing!” the harsh voice of her mother startled her peace. Sometimes poverty is the root cause of ruining  one’s creativity.

Many a times talents in remote areas go unnoticed. Lack of opportunity, education and awareness are the key factors. As Emily goes out to gather wood for the fire, an old lady was walking with a stick near the forest. Emily was too busy with her chores to notice her and was as usual humming to herself as she picked up the dried twigs. Amazed by the mystical quality and serenity of Emily’s voice, the old lady was stupefied. “Lass, do you live here? Are you a singer?” the lady asked her. “No, Mam. I’m not a singer and I live here. I’m just…” Emily was suddenly tongue-tied in front of a stranger. The stylish, old lady was staring at her intently. “You mean to say you don’t know that you are a marvellous singer?” the lady was incredulous . Emily looked blankly at her. “Would you like to sing in a concert?” the lady moved towards her. “I’ll take you to town and make you a famous singer. You have tremendous potential.”

Awestruck by the glamour and high octane razzmatazz of the city, the village lass was nervous and fidgety. Groomed by her mentor she stood on the lighted stage of the Town Hall in front of a huge gathering. The moment to get recognition and fame was poised for her. The sound of the mike, music and the noisy crowd intimidated her to such an extent that she stood transfixed. Oops! Her voice seemed hoarse and she was unable to utter a word. She has come here to unlock a world of privileges! But she realised that no song would overflow spontaneously from her now. A melange if expressions were stuck in her heart and her throat went dry. The crowd grew noisier and she felt like fainting.

To arrive at the Mecca of all things melodious we, sometimes….perhaps need the ambience of nature to outpour our expressions. In the familiarity of our backgrounds can we feel at home and manifest our talents. The flowing river, the highlands, the glens were Emily’s inspiration to passionately hum her natural songs. The artificiality of the city deadened her spirit and thus she was unable to perform. Not born to be s performer… she was the prodigy of  nature gathering inspiration for her new symphonies from her first hand experience with the earth.

Albeit her failure at the Town Hall, she was a winner…her simple lyre reaching great heights: a harmony of haven has been recreated by her in the breathtaking Scottish  landscapes, the curving river, the snow-capped mountains and endless  carpeted countryside. The vales  echo with her timeless pieces, totally mesmerising. This is the stuff that dreams are made of.

 

The Sound of Happiness

it is the nature of the people to ponder, to introspect or wonder about happiness. A fragile concept which can be a dangerous behemoth or unlocking a world of gaiety. Learned men, comedians or scientists have given us deep insights into the realm of joyousness… that it is not static and the best possible way is to look inward for that inner peace.  It’s about living and learning… something like Dickens’ humour and pathos enabling us to experience both exuberance and   pain to truly decipher  the essence of happiness.

“Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be”, opined by Abraham Lincoln illuminates the concept. The harmony between a man and his attitude towards life, the way he intends to lead his life, his state of mind or feeling characterised by contentment, satisfaction or peace.

Elusive, I would say, like a butterfly, sometimes beyond our grasp and fleeting, happiness often sneaks into our life suddenly and is mostly temporary. But hopeful that we are the quest for happiness continues and this aspiration keeps us going!

 

 

Unmindful Mindful

Today I will opine about my idiosyncrasy of being impetuously methodical, a trait quite unusual.  Sounds weird! but that’s my latest syndrome. I can’t help it. My devise of being unrealistically strategic works wonders. People take me to be gullible at times but my so-called gullibility is actually an invent to hoodwink others. I put up an innocent mask and try to ascertain facts and with my new idiom develop my own perspective.

Well!Well!Well! Clever me. this is the way to comprehend in modern times the predicament or otherwise. People try to explain things which I probably know and give a better insight of things which gives me an edge over my competitors. I try the unmindful act and make others open up about facts in an elaborate manner so as to educate me perhaps.

My beguiling smile and innocent pout puts me in an advantageous position and the onlooker graciously delineates the whole process in the most affable and gallant way to make understand the matter. this is actually a good ploy to make people talk and I listen in awe to gain more info on the subject. My catchphrase is, “Look I’m not that savvy with such and such thing. Could you please explain the matter?” The onlooker feels that he is more knowledgeable and thus tries to enrich me.

In the corporate world this works like alchemy and while pitching top-notch clients my attitude puts them in a superior position and they instantly feel at ease and gain momentum. my elevator pitch is not like the quintessential placing of my own credentials in a spectacular way. I try to make them feel spectacular and let them do the talking. My energy stays intact and i make a mental note of their story. They become from professional to quite unprofessional which I enjoy. Thus, the narrative of advertising begins with flourish and accelerates.

In my personal arena too, the same ploy is used. But that doesn’t mean that I know everything. There are lots of things that I learn in the process. It’s like thistle and thorn process. I let my hubby do the talking and I become the avid listener( which I really enjoy) and give him the importance he deserves. One must allow the other person to blabber as it gives them a feeling of being important. I behave as if I’m not that sagacious and that I”m unmindful; but beware! I’m no fool. I take my learning lessons from my associate and lo! I become unintelligent intelligent. Or, maybe dull-wittingly witty. Mindlessly mindful I would say.